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The jackass-of-all-trades
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Upchuck Charlie the Second
Check this novel out. Drew Ferguson, quite the talented individual, will be releasing his book, The Screwed-Up Life of Charlie the Second come 26-AUG 2008. The snarky son-of-a-bitch used to teach Fiction Writing courses at Columbia College. He certainly possesses a knack for having his students press themselves beyond their potential to elicit their own voice on paper.

As for the novel, the spoonfed summary can provide some insight upon content:

Tall, gangly and big-eared, he could be the poster boy for teenage geeks. An embarrassment to his parents (he's not to crazy about them, either), Charlie is a virtual untouchable at his school, where humiliation is practically an extra curricular activity. Charlie has tried to fit in, but all of his efforts fall on a glorious, monumental scale. He plays soccer--mainly to escape his home life--but isn't accepted by his teammates who basically ignore him on the field. He still confuses the accelerator with the brake pedal and has failed his driving exam six times. He can't work on his college application essay without writing a searing tell-all. But what's freaking Charlie out the most is that while his hormones are raging and his peers are pairing off, he remains alone with his fantasies.

But all of this is about to change when a new guy at school begins to liven things up on the soccer team--and in Charlie's life. For the first time in his seventeen years, Charlie will learn how it feels to be a star, at least off the field. But Charlie discovers that even cool guys have problems as he embarks on an unforgettable, risk-filled journey from which there is no turning back....

Ferguson has been previously featured in The James White Review, The Great Lawn, Blithe House Quarterly, and Hair Trigger. He received his MFA in Creative Writing from Columbia College Chicago, which was the same educational facility he once bestowed his vast knowledge and technique upon an impressionable student body. Still a resident of the city, his image may be found on the side of a milk carton in your local dairy case.

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Ruling Propensity: okay
Current Distraction: "Vienna Pool" -- Linda Eder

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Sweatin' to the Anniversaries
The drug store chain, Walgreens, released their weekly circular via e-mail. One of the featured items of the week was the following:



There are no words for this.

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Ruling Propensity: amused
Current Distraction: "On the Media" -- WNYC Public Radio

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Children, in my Internets? Say it ain't so!
Yahoo really needs to check their advertising sponsors when it comes to their 'helpful' shortcut links.



You can repeat their feature here.

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Ruling Propensity: amused
Current Distraction: "Zombie" (Aquachop Dub) - John Acquaviva, Lutzenkirchen

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Do You Yazoo?
First the Spice Girls. Then the New Kids on the Block. Guess who is reuniting now?

Yaz.

Who? Yaz was the group from the early '80s that was partnered between Vince Clarke and Alison Moyet, right after Clarke left Depeche Mode. They did that song "Don't Go" and "Situation," both which receives decent airplay if you know where to go. What's being called 'The Reconnected Tour' will remain brief in the States with July concert dates in Oakland, Los Angeles, Chicago, and New York.

Great music, but wha? Oakland? Unreal.

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Ruling Propensity: blah
Current Distraction: "Common People" -- Pulp

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lolcorn
The Prize Patrol stopped over at [info]lelumama's house earlier and notified her that she won the Internets:

From buyolympia.com:



Product ImageSarah Utter
Reading is Sexy
100% Corn Mug

We've been wanting to make mugs for a long time, but none really did it for us until we came across these beauties.

They are made from 100% biodegradable corn plastic, grown and manufactured in the US. The inks used are lead free.

Stop getting a paper-cup every morning and instead use this environmentally friendly alternative; it breaks down naturally in composting and is microwave safe.

And because it's corn-plastic, you can drop it on the ground and not worry about breaking it.

Price: $12.00
Ounces: 10.5
Estimated Time To Ship: 1 day

Picture

We recommend hand-washing only to let the mugs keep their luster.




Christ on a low-sodium Ritz® cracker! A cup made out of corn. You can't eat it (pure assumption...) but it's environmentally friendly. Also, your children won't be exposed to evil lead poisoning found in inks used in unregulated manufacturing processes abroad.

Corn. Heh.

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Ruling Propensity: amused
Current Distraction: "The Simpsons" (Television)

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Darth Vader is buying yellow cake uranium from unwed teenage mothers!
"TERRORISTS ARE PLANNING THEIR NEXT ATTACK ON AMERICA"


President George W. Bush just announced this on his weekly radio address. Then again, he announces said statement every week. Do people honestly not tire of this unending propaganda? It's been six years, five months, and twelve days that we've been hearing this. Certainly it's not only the terrorists that have been plotting those days. Enough with the scare tactics.

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Ruling Propensity: apathetic
Current Distraction: WBBM-AM radio

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Super Fat Tuesday!
2008 Primary Election Receipt


The Top 3 Reasons Why You Must Vote Today

1. We have intelligence that suggests that... Hitler is plotting... with, with the Legion of Doom... to assassinate Jesus!
2. Darth Vader is buying yellow cake uranium from unwed teenage mothers!
3. NINE-ELEVEN

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Ruling Propensity: okay
Current Distraction: Never Alone (Toolroom) -- Trophy Twins & Funkagenda's FATT Remix

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Snow noes!
I am questioning my faith in our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. He has provided us with a splendid snowfall measuring 6" - 10" (15 - 25 cm) and the landscape looks clean and pure like His enduring love. With His children gracefully carrying upon their daily life of glory and worship, I am saddened for the degenerates that may have maliciously infiltrated the embrace of salvation.

This shaky foundation was the result of a news report this morning that spoke of such blasphemy. Said testimony divulged that Our Lady of the Snows has been closed due to the weather. Sacrilege! This profane statement shows the utmost irreverence to God.

I shall pray for all those immoral reprobates.

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Ruling Propensity: amused
Current Distraction: BBC World News

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Whiny, Girls Reunited...
The Spice Girls got back together to relive their gloryhole days from the '90s. Not wanting to miss on the no-assembly-required action, it's being stated that the New Kids on the Block are reuniting.

Where's that meteor?

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Ruling Propensity: sleepy
Current Distraction: WBBM-AM radio

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Daily iCoffee


One free song is being offered daily through November 7th, which amounts to 37 free songs. Of course, one has to have Apple's iTunes to download the free music. This would naturally be a tie-in with the new iPhone's wifi capabilities of downloading music from the iTunes Store in Starbucks nationwide. The rollout will begin today in New York and Seattle and eventually spread across the States.

The promotional song for the first day of the marketing campaign happens to be Bob Dylan's "Jokerman." Dylan, if one may recall, shunned major record labels and signed up with Starbucks' Hear Music label back in 2005. Other individuals on the caffeine bandwagon include Joni Mitchell, John Mayer, Paul McCartney, Annie Lennox, and Dave Matthews.

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Current Distraction: BBC World News

Some Perspective...
whereinchicago
Name: whereinchicago
Clues for the clueless
Some insight allowing me to grasp back onto my writing, bearing in mind that I spend much time doing so armed with coffee and a pen. I find it more efficient to type and this LiveJournal will allow a greater sense of audience, considering I have to elaborate or maintain steady flow of a scene or particular moment. Don't worry, I still won't give up the pen!
Stuff...
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